My friend Gayle and her adorable pups Beas and Bean came to stay with us for a mini-vacation and two things happened because of her trip. First, I had to dust.
Troy bought the Swifter duster to try them out, and although I protested for about 2 seconds because of the impact disposable shit like this takes on the environment, I agreed with his decision because I thought it weighed evenly against buying a can of aerosol Pledge.
I was surprised it worked at great as it did. What I liked best is that you don't have to move anything - this little sucker gets around it all - which is awesome if you have a shit-load of books, knicknacks and toys like we do. Precarious is how I would describe our bookshelves. Also, our chinchillas bath in dust so our house is a constant battle destroy dust and dirt. Their dust leads to massive outbreaks of dust bunnies and this annihilated them quickly and without screams. It also worked better than anything else on cleaning our framed prints and pictures.
I didn't have to move a thing and that is awesome!
Now - ON TO THE KILLINZ!!!
We went to see Rambo! IT. WAS. FUCKING. CRAZY!!!! We agreed on that because "If your going to see killinz, it might as well be on the big screen!" The movie has an average of 2.9 kills per minute - therefore, it moved passed "killings" and onto "killinz." You can't take that much blood shed seriously. You just can't. Because if you did, you would be a fucking psychopath or mercenary. I say mercenary because a good part of the movie is about just that.
Basic plot outline: Burma (now Myanmar) is in a civil war/genocide. It's basically a hell hole of human rights violations since the British relinquished control in the late ’40s. A group of Catholic missionaries from Colorado are heading to a village in Burma to deliver medicine, bibles and Jesus. They ask Rambo to take them up river, and he agrees to help the young, blood, naive missionary.
Blood and violence ensues.
At one point, when a soldier get not 1, but 2 arrows throught the skull and then blows up, the audience of mostly males applauded. Troy now want to shoot guns after years and years of peace. I guess you have to have a dick to appreciate it all.
Spoilers ahead: 3 things strike me most about this movie. One: John Rambo effectively killed the abilitiy for anyone else to ever have the last name Rambo. I'm not sure if there is anyone that actually has that for a god-given name, but it is totally ruined.
Two. I don't like how the women becomes the antagonist for all the blood shed in this movie. The mission hangs on her final words of "we must go" and so they do. She is alive at the end of the movie, but she is surrounded by the death that wrought, probably raped many times over and a definite case of post traumatic stress. She looks lost and guilty and horrified by the reality that their visit meant nothing, changed nothing and she is left with nothing. And that is bullshit. Sure, she is an idiot for proceeding but the other 9 men on the mission are too. I appreciate there resolve, but fuck, don't go into Burma without UN peace keepers. Shit.
Three. The first 3 minutes of the movie have a voice-over from newscasters speaking about the violence that plagues this country as well as real footage of the aftermath of violence: decapitations, mass graves, dead women, men, kids. Good job Sly Stallone - you brought reality to the absolute carnage that follows. You can't help but to think that in the scene where soldiers throw land mines into the rice patties and then make villagers march across to a limb-blowing end (and you see all of the limbs blown!) before mowing down all survivors in a hail of gunfire - well, you can't help but to think that is the reality of someone there. I'm guessing something like that has happened at least once.
As well as the storming of villages for their young boys for child soldiers. That shit does happen - check out Darfur. The saddest part of the movie is knowing that LIFE means VERY LITTLE.
I have a lot of opinions, but when it comes to Burma, Darfur, Sudan, I have none. I have no remedies and I feel as though I have no way to help them. Gayle suggests building a wall, like in Germany during the Cold War, and moving the refugees, mostly women to the other side. Let the men duke it out. If only that would work. I almost want to say Nuke it back to the Ice Age, but that is just the 3% Republican in me.
Money is the root of all evil and power corrupts absolutely, and the military dictatorship ruling this country is fueled by both. A situation like this is one of the only times when I am hopeless.
BUT, I'm a chick and a true bleeding heart so what I take away from this movie the injustice. Troy took away from the movie a need to blow something up. The violence, especially the final battle is staggering. Rambo both disembowels, rips out a throat and SETS OFF AN ATOM BOMB!!! Yes, he sets off an atom bomb left from the british military aerial campaign 60 years ago. Not nuclear - no fear of nuclear winter, but Atom - Hiroshima style. THAT IS FUCKING CRAZY.
So… that was long! Go enjoy the movie. Take it seriously or not.
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